Fifty Shades F****d Up

This novel defines the law of magnetism. It’s like tornado meeting Volcano, or so what the author was trying to sell.

Simple story: Boy meets girl, they have this intense connection right away & despite the boy’s constant warning, both  fall for each other, fast & hard. Sounds familiar?

Pretty sure it does. It might remind you of a certain self loathing vampire & an 18 year old girl, finding true love despite his certain way of living .

Here, even though the lead characters, Anastasia Steele & Christian Grey, are very much mortal, the lifestyle of Mr.Grey is certainly otherworldly. Predicted as usual, that & his shady agonizing past, is exactly what  draws Anastasia dangerously close to him.

It’s a human psyche, really. We have this needy, deep seated  ache inside us & the only way to cure that itch is by rescuing someone who doesn't want to be saved. 

Christian  Grey, a young, arduous, hot shot entrepreneur has everything one could possibly dream of having in one lifetime. Then why has he chosen such a dark detached  lifestyle?? It's how they say, “Nothing in this world comes without a price“. The deeper you get into this, the more you unravel, and I quote Anastasia Steele here, why is he “One f****d  up son of a bitch“???

In comes Anastasia Steele, an up and coming journalist, our girl next door, innocent, witty, smart & not to forget one important fact, a 22 year old virgin.

(Mr. Grey‘s experiences his first jaw dropping moment) 
*Not me however*.

A by-chance interview  &  it's beyond obvious that it's soo not going to be a one-time meet and greet. After every 10 pages or so, their dangerous liaisons become so monotonous that you wish you were rather reading a Mills & Boons.

This novel felt like a potential candidate to set your hormones on fire, make your toes curl & go all gooey inside.

Sadly, it simply has the potential and that’s just it. Even though their wild sexual trysts are worthy of making you reach for the ice water, at first, after 200 pages worth of time & patience, “Could you at-least try and keep it in your pants for a while" is the only thing in your mind. The female protagonist bursts into several sets of orgasm after almost every page. *And not exaggerating at all* 

Is that even humanly possible?? *Just asking*

The relationship between them is a vast contrast compared to their Dominant & Submissive one in the Red Room of Pain. 

The  characters & story feels repetitive, after all, a fan-fiction has been turned into a full fledged *hush* *soft porn* novel. The grammar is too elementary at times. Gives off the feeling of a teenage hormone penning down her Wild-Wild-West fantasies.

Even their "Wild Art of Kamasutra" starts to feel like a drag. It certainly ends with a twist & that’s the sole reason that helped me finish the first of this amateur erotica trilogy.

In short, this novel will manifest hate, disgust or love inside you. Either ways, in the end, with the kind of R-rated thoughts that conjure up in your head, it leaves me wondering, 
"Did I really just read a fat book describing 1001 ways of performing BDSM ?" *Shakes head*